120213pass-1

You Shall Not Pass!

12 comments
Humour, Personal, Stories, Writing

Once upon a time, in a Queendom far away, there was a maiden with golden hair who led a happy life. Happy, except for one thing: she had no wheels. And how she needed wheels, for she missed her relatives, who lived in a neighboring province. One day she gathered her courage, contacted the Agency Of Magic Traveling and asked them for advice. A day later, an old wizard appeared at her door. He introduced himself as Gandalf and invited her into a device called a horse-mobile. Mobile. Moving. She liked that. A lot. And she loved horses too.

After a couple of lessons in the horse-mobile, the wizard thought the maiden was ready to pass the driving test and brought along a very strict Wizard from out of state, the Balroginator. After all, a test needs to be honest and unbiased! The Balroginator threw all kinds of obstacles on her path. The rack suddenly moved backward, heavy fog, fast horses, slow goats. He tested her in every way possible, but she didn’t blink an eye and stayed calm, guiding the horse-mobile with a steady hand. At last she was allowed to Pass. With flying colors. Soon she traveled the land, roaming further and further, until she finally settled down.

Two years went by, and the maiden – no longer a maiden – found herself the mother of a sturdy and handsome son. They had a happy life together, the boy as adventurous as his mother. When he became an adult, he expressed his wish for his own mobile.

Son, are you sure? You are only eighteen years old! Won’t you ride your pony in stead?

But the young man was determined.

No mother, I want a mobile, and not just a mere horse-mobile. Those are too old fashioned. Nay, I need an auto-mobile!

The auto-mobile was the latest invention of the Agency of Magic Traveling. The device, still highly experimental, had been invented by the Balroginator himself. The maiden tried to change her son’s mind, but he wouldn’t budge. At long last, the woman turned to her old friend Gandalf for advice, as she had done in her youth. To her surprise, the Wizard told her not to worry, to let go. That he would love to teach her cub the art of the auto-mobile.

The next day, Gandalf pulled up in the brand new Balrogacar, unique in its kind.

The maiden blinked upon seeing the frightening and alien device. She turned to her son and implored him to change his mind. But he had no eyes for her, nor for their horse. His gaze wandered lovingly over the sharp contours of the auto-mobile. He would master the art of driving this magic car, if it were the last thing he did. Get in, son, Gandalf said, let’s take the Balrogacar for a spin! And so he did.

Meanwhile, the Balroginator had second thoughts about sharing his invention with his Wizard pal Gandalf. During the months it took for the boy to learn how to drive, the Balroginator tried to make him lose his confidence by raising the difficulty level of the driving tests. You shall not pass, he vowed silently, I will be the only one to drive the Balrogacar!

The young man failed the first test. The Balroginator emphasized each little mistake the boy made, belittling his driving skills. But he did not give up. Gandalf patiently made sure his skills got better. Again the young man took the Balroginator’s exam, and again he failed. But he would not give up. Years passed and Gandalf brought along a second Wizard-Instructor, who impersonated as the Balroginator, just so the boy could get used to his threatening presence.

Then the day for the third test came. As he had done to the son’s mother, the Balroginator threw all kinds of obstacles on his path. The chair suddenly moved backward, heavy fog, slippery roads, fast horses, slow goats, road blocks and gorgeous young ladies along the road. He tested him in every way possible, but the young man didn’t blink an eye and stayed calm, guiding the Balrogacar with a steady hand. There was nothing the Balroginator could do, other than to let the youngster finally Pass. With flying colors. Soon he would travel the Queendom, roaming further and further, in his own Balrogacar. Which he first had to obtain of course ;)

Today, my son did what the Balrog could not do. He Passed!! Happy congrats, dear, I’m very proud of you :D

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Reader, writer, word player. No lady, but all woman. RPGamer. Caretaker of sons, feline Smokey and the Bandit, dungeons & dragons. Torn between English & Dutch.

12 thoughts on “You Shall Not Pass!”

  1. paarden en auto´s
    en ik maar denken dat je een moterfreak bent:)

    maar nu snap ik het, het is je moederhart die spreekt!
    Van harte gefeliciteerd and yes be proud he deserves it!!!

    • Paarden, Assyke, paarden zijn mijn grote liefde! En honden en katten natuurlijk, maar daar kun je niet op rijden hehehe. Ik ben pas sinds 3,5 jaar op een motor te vinden, omdat mijn vriend een Harley heeft en ik achterop gekropen ben. En daar geniet ik volop van, in vrijheid op vakantie. Paardrijden is helaas geen optie meer wegens rugklachten.
      Zo lief, bedankt voor je felicitaties aan mijn zoon :)

  2. OMG great piece – I love your writing voice, so creative, and I’m sure his dream car is one paycheck away, LOL.
    Congrats…you’ve joined the ranks of those who will either yank all their hair out or have all of it turn ashen due to worry!
    Seriously, kudos to a smart young man, the apple must not’ve fallen far from the tree. ;)

    • Several paychecks, Roxie ;) He’s still looking for a full-time job in stead of the threehoursadaymailmanjob he has at the moment.
      Thanks, I will alert my hairdresser at once! She will cope with every possibility haha.

      • at least he’s saving for the car and not spending it on frivolous things like food and clothing, LOL
        alert the hairdresser – sounds like a title to something, perhaps a country western song? regardless, she should be on retainer, like mine is, hehehe…never know when that gray hair will pop out and show its ugly self! ;)

          • hehehe, I figured that, can’t let him enter into the cold cruel world of absolutely no money yet, otherwise they don’t leave home, :)
            that’s the secret, high and low lights to appear natural

            • My youngest son will go to university in September. My ‘little one’ – two heads taller than me – will leave the nest. I dread that day.

  3. Julia Davis says:

    You know that I love the reference material.

    Mostly I am so happy for your son, who has jumped this hurdle with plenty of air to spare.

    Congrats!!! May you have many miles of smiles under your seat belt in no time.

    Jules

    • Ah, so you recognize the characters, Jules? ;-) Hihi, my thoughts were not to be stopped after posting the image this afternoon.
      Nick did very well today and I’m sure he’s longing to get those miles under his seat belt, as you put it :D
      Thanks!
      Love,
      Mar

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